The dark side of science...
I was reading about time travel the other day because, well, I'm somewhat of a dork; one of the predominant theories is that there are an infinite number of parallel universes in which all possible outcomes of all possible events exist. This made me feel good, because I realized that somewhere out in the midst of those parallel universes, I'll finish this entry, hop in my dodge viper and go on a day trip to the beach house. But then I also realized that there is another parallel universe in which I finish this entry, put on a pink bunny suit, hijack a short bus, castrate a clergyman and set myself on fire in the women's undergarments section at walmart.
I'm so sorry- no, really.
Have you ever, while someone told you a really sad personal story, thought about how inappropriate it would be to laugh while they were telling it? What sucks is that picturing the fallout from that scenario...
"You sick bastard! How can you laugh at the fact that my grandmother was killed & eaten by a deranged scoutmaster!"
...Is actually somewhat funny. Which means that you have to try not to laugh, lest the scenario you were just envisioning become true. Unfortunately, I can never stop myself from going down that mental road. However, I can now take comfort in the fact that you won't be able to anymore either.
Fun At Work
Sneak into your boss's office, find his or her stack of business cards, write colorful messages on the back of a handful of them, & shuffle them back into the stack. Examples include:
"I'm not wearing underpants"
"Don't really call me - I'm just handing these out to look busy"
"50% discount to all N.A.M.B.L.A. members"
I hope it goes without saying to disguise your handwriting.
